There are three kinds of musicians:

Let me hear it – the first category is the player that doesn’t read music and will approach a song in a way that is utterly dependent on the way it was recorded. In some cases, they’re entry level players  who will often reduce those things that are technically demanding to something more manageable, just so they can “sound” competent. Some of those who play by ear are excellent musicians, but nevertheless are uncomfortable when you put any kind of sheet music in front of them because of their unfamiliarity with musical notation.

Let me at it – the second category can “shred.” They’ve got all kinds of chops and are looking for any opportunity to insert their new lick, regardless of whether or not it serves the song. They are are technically proficient, and have an enthusiastic attitude, but are musically immature and will often play in a way that draws more attention to themselves rather than the substance of the song they’re playing.

Let me play it – the third category takes what’s on the page and performs it in a way that communicates in a way that goes beyond what’s heard. All of the technical expertise of the musician is used to ensure the lyric / melody is allowed to speak directly into the heart of the individual that’s listening.

All three of these “musicians” require a different approach when you’re tasked with directing their energies in a positive direction. You want to affirm their strengths and respect both their enthusiasm and their effort as you show them what you want to hear.

If you don’t make that effort to tailor your direction in a way that conforms to the category they belong to, your content gets overwhelmed by your delivery and you’re not leading people anymore, now you’re just irritating and insulting them.

Proverbs 25:11 says:

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken at the right time. (Prov 25:11 [AMP])

It’s not just tact, it’s respect. And with that respect, comes a positive result. Otherwise, whatever results you get are going to be less than what you want.

We’re commanded in Scripture to be respectful.

As parents, we’re told not to exasperate our kids:

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Eph 6:4 [NIV]).

You can see the point that is being made more vividly by looking at the same Scripture in the Amplified version:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them], but bring them up [tenderly, with lovingkindness] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Eph 6:4 [AMP])

When we’re trying to communicate the Substance of the gospel, we’re told to do it with gentleness and respect:

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, (1 Pet 3:15)

As leaders, you want to set the example by not using your authority to force your will, but to look out for their best interests:

² Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; ³ not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. ⁴ And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. (1 Pet 5:2-4 [ see also Ez 34:1-4; Matt 20:25-28])

Anytime you’re tasked with leading another person or a group of individuals, you have two responsibilities. Your first responsibility is to lead them in a positive direction. Your second responsibility is to lead in a positive way. Simply telling someone that they “should” do something, isn’t the same as leading a person in a way where they “want” to do something.

That doesn’t mean you’ll never encounter difficult people who don’t want to be led, or taught (Neh 9:16). And sometimes the situation doesn’t lend itself to anything other than a need to obey immediately (Gen 19:26). But solid leadership is characterized by a servant’s heart and an approach that takes the time to consider, not just what needs to be said, but the way it needs to be said.