Earlier this year, I participated in a prayer campaign that included some instruction as well as some encouragement that I perceived as a cue to “pray big!” So, I did. I put before the Lord several “brass rings” that were nothing short of bold. And I was consistent. Every morning, I would do my “laps” around the circle that comprises the cul de sac configuration that stands outside my front door and I would repeat my prayer that I actually wrote out on a piece of paper as far as what the answer to that prayer would look like.

I wanted to see a particular dream of mine come true. I had labored for several years to create a fitness resource that I was excited about. I had some ideas, I had some “visions” and I while I was excited at the prospects I was just as aware of the challenges that any kind of enterprise such as this faces. Still, I asked for success and I put my dream of prosperity on the table. I didn’t want to just pay my bills, I wanted to pay them off. I didn’t want to just provide for my family, I wanted to be able to bless them. I didn’t want to simply make money, I wanted to make a difference.

Three months. That’s how long this particular prayer campaign lasted. And even after the course had concluded, I continued to pray and I was motivated by the possibility of God agreeing to my proposal.

And then…

We filed our income taxes and instead of getting a refund, we owed some money. It wasn’t a crippling dollar amount, but it was enough to set up a payment plan. Not long after that, my contract with my employer was not renewed which was unsettling. It’s not that there wasn’t ample time to get the resume and portfolio dusted off and secure another source of income before my contract expired, but there’s an inevitable collection of “worse case scenarios” as well as some defeat and discouragement that you have to contend with that can make for a challenging timeframe.

Isn’t it ironic that here I am praying for success and prosperity and the answer is the exact opposite of what I had appealed for? And not just a trivial setback, but an occasion for some real concern. I’m not saying that we’re on the brink of financial disaster, but there’s no real “net” to fall into should my search for employment prove to be fruitless. And the tax liability isn’t a dealbreaker, but it’s one more log on the fire – it’s one more piece of luggage that you have to carry around.

I don’t know why, but it seems that in times such as these, you’re that much more aware of the abundance that surrounds you. Every neighbor, every acquaintance seems to have what you want. Job security, paid vacation, stock options. You’re looking around and seeing a carpet that still bears the scars of the water damage that was done years ago. Oh, there was an insurance settlement, but that money went to bills rather than a new carpet because that’s just the way we roll around here. Meanwhile, everyone else has their crown molding and custom kitchen cabinetry and you feel like you’re just limping along, making minimal progress, if you’re making any progress at all.

And now, here you are again, having to say that you’re looking for another job and the label of “loser” seems appropriate.

Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that I was praying “big?” What happened to that?

And here’s the thing: As we contemplate our kids going off to college, as we dream about the possibility of moving one day, the resources that would be required in order to be in that kind of a financial position are substantial. Even with a great paying job, there’s just a lot of catching up to do, so praying “big” is a logical strategy in the face of the kind of obstacles that need to be overcome.

This morning, I saw a collection of texts that were circulated after I had gone to bed. My exchange with my Heavenly Father this morning was not the rattle of an auctioneer spewing out a parade of requests. It was pretty basic. But then I look at my phone and my youngest daughter Vivian had texted a verse to our whole family before heading off to bed. It was Psalm 27:14:

Wait on the Lord, be full of courage, and he will strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord. (Ps 27:14)

I’m not contending with a prison sentence or a life threatening disease. My bride and my children are healthy on every level. I have six weeks to find a new job and more than that, I’ve got the Architect of the Stars (Ps 8:3-4) telling me that there’s more to my situation that just my circumstance (2 Kings 6:17; Heb 11:1). And as far as my “brass ring,” we’re going to let that continue to simmer. It’s God’s Purpose that needs to be targeted. However my dreams are consistent with that Template – that’s what I need to set my sights on.

So, how’s your day? (sigh) Pretty good, actually. Pretty good…

PS. I posted this excerpt on Monday. Friday, I had a job offer…