Coronavirus News Room

(Fade in on a conference room at a major news network headquarters. People are slowing filing in and taking their seats…)

Chief Editor: Alright, everybody. Let’s find a seat and get started. We’ve got something important to talk about…

Journalist (smiling): What’s happening in the world, today chief?

Chief Editor (without smiling): We’ve got word about a new kind of pneumonia called the “Coronavirus.” It gets passed on through saliva and mucus. It incubates for about three weeks before it even shows up in recognizable symptoms and most people will feel like they’ve got a cold for about two weeks and then make a full recovery.

Journalist: Why is that “news?”

Chief Editor: Because in some cases, it can be lethal.

Journalist: Well, the flu can be lethal. Why is this a big deal?

Researchers currently think that between five and 40 Coronavirus cases in 1,000 will result in death, with a best guess of nine in 1,000 or about 1%.

(BBC News)

Chief Editor: Because the flu is lethal only in 1% of reported cases. This has a 3.4% mortality rate, although most of those who pass away are elderly people with pre-existing conditions.

Random Journalist: Sorry, chief. I’m still not seeing why this is a headline. I remember reading that back in 2009 there were something like 60 million incidents of the Swine Flu. Something like 300,000 people got hospitalized and what – 17,000 people died? The Coronavirus doesn’t even begin to compare to that? Why does this have you so motivated?

Chief Editor: Because if we do this right, we can create a panic that’s founded more on what we say that what it is we don’t say.

(puzzled look around the room)

Chief Editor: Guys, we’ve been doing this for the last four years. Don’t look at me like I’ve got monkeys flying out of my nose.

Journalist: Well, give me an example.

Chief Editor: If we say that this is the “Corona Flu” what do you think?

Journalist: I think a runny nose and a splitting headache.

Chief Editor: Right. You don’t think of the 56,000 people that die from Influenza every year.

Look, let’s do this: Everybody get your tablets out and let’s document some ground rules. Abide by these guidelines and you’re going to get a green light from me every time.

#1) Never refer to it as the Corona Pneumonia. or the “Corona Flu.” Always refer to it as the “Coronavirus.”

Pneumonia or the Flu suggests something familiar that can be controlled. As long as you use “Coronavirus” or “COVID-19,” you maintain a feeling of uncertainty and fear that can be easily manipulated.

#2) Anytime you reference statistics, go for the larger number.

For example, if you’re talking about the number of mortalities, use the global body count and not the national number of deaths. Right now, we’re at 80 deaths in the US. Don’t say that. Always refer to the international statistic to keep uncertainty paramount.

Journalist: Chief?

Chief Editor: What?

Journalist: Stupid question, but IF the national number is mentioned, I’m assuming you want us to shy away from the fact that 60% of those deaths came from a Washington Nursing Home?

Chief Editor: I’m not even going to answer that. Moving on…

#3) Don’t talk about the recovery rate. Always refer to the number infected and, as mentioned previously, default to the more dramatic numbers.

The World Health Organization (WHO) says those that experience mild illness typically recover from the illness in about two weeks, while those who experience a more severe illness could take up to six weeks to recover.

#4) Encourage testing.

There are people who have it who aren’t even aware of it. They’ll recover and by that point they’re no longer a statistic that we can use. The more people you identify as being “infected,” the more threatening it becomes.

#5) Underscore anything that resembles the inability of the current healthcare system to handle the problem.

Anything that encourages people to place the Healthcare industry into the hands of the government is one more step towards socialized medicine.

#6) Encourage any kind of shutdown that could potentially damage the economy.

You can’t proclaim an objective “all clear” when most of what we’re looking at in the context of containment and “good health” is subjective at best. A vaccine is months away. If this continues, our economy will take a serious hit and that will reflect poorly on the current administration when it comes time to elect a new president.

#7) Don’t discuss anything about life after the Coronavirus.

Overwhelm the marketplace with as much information as you can about the current state of affairs. Don’t reference the fact that:

Journalist: Chief, this is all do-able, but there’s one person out there that’s been making some really valid points about the Coronavirus scare and he’s basically saying that all of this is a hoax designed to damage the American economy.

Chief Editor: So?

Journalist: A lot of people are listening to him…

Chief Editor: What’s he saying?

Journalist: Well, and I should say, it’s not just him. There’s a lot of people who’ve been sorting through all the hype and have been able to determine that the Coronavirus is a drop in the bucket compared to the number of people that get infected with the Flu every year.

Chief Editor: Alright, well, who is this guy? Why is he a “thing?”

Journalist: He followed up a tweet from Trump that said the Dems and the MSM were exaggerating the hype about the Coronavirus by saying, “As an MIT PhD in Biological Engineering who studies & does research nearly every day on the Immune System, the #coronavirus fear mongering by the Deep State will go down in history as one of the biggest fraud to manipulate economies, suppress dissent, & push MANDATED Medicine!”

Chief Editor: What’s his name?

Journalist: His name is Dr. Shiva Ayyadurai. He’s an MIT Biologist and he nails it, man! In one video he describes how the Coronavirus literally just ricochets off our cells provided you’ve got a healthy immune system. In another video, he calls out the CDC and the politicians and the pharmaceutical companies and says they’re all reading from the same script – saying that they’re intentionally ignoring the obvious and using the Coronavirus to damage the economy

Chief Editor: So?

Journalist: What do you mean, “So?” Rush Limbaugh referenced him last week and if you connect the dots, you’ll also find another article that talks about how the Coronavirus is part of the same family as the Flu and the Common Cold. At one point, the article says…

As WHO further observes: “Human coronaviruses are common throughout the world. The most recent coronavirus, COVID-19, was first identified in Wuhan, China and is associated with mild-to-severe respiratory illness with fever and cough.” But so is garden variety flu, which causes vastly more deaths every year in every nation than COVID-19 has shown itself to be capable of causing.

Yet the lying media breathlessly report “rising death tolls from the [sic] coronavirus” as if COVID-19 were the beginning of an apocalypse. As of this writing, there have been only 26 deaths from “the coronavirus” in the United States, 19 of them occurring in the same senior living facility in Washington State, while the common flu has already claimed 17,000 lives throughout the country since the current U.S. flu season began last October. (TechStartups)

Chief Edtior: Listen, I’m going to be late for another meeting. What are you getting at?

Journalist: I’m saying you’re fighting an uphill battle that could really damage our credibility. Anybody with a lick of sense is going to read this and know that we’re leaving some very relevant information out of your reporting.

Chief Editor: It doesn’t matter. By the time a lot of that other info sinks in, provided this works the way I think it can, we’ll have successfully shut down every public institution and that’s what we’re going for.

Journalist: Alright…

Chief Editor (looking at his watch): Ok..we good? Everybody knows what they need to do? (sighs) One more thing (pauses for effect). It’s not what we say, it’s what we don’t say. Do this right and we can create a problem that will be very hard to fix. Some businesses may even fail, people could lose their jobs and that’s serious stuff. But at the end of the day, it’s not about who loses as much as it’s about who wins.

(looks around the room)

We clear?

Meeting adjourned.

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